Posted on January 3, 2019
It’s funny how something that makes you so happy can be so hard to do sometimes. It took me the past three days to push myself to come out to my studio (I’m a wee bit behind because of my mind fuckery but I thrive under pressure. Even though I should really be more scheduled with my time). Mind you it’s been near freezing the past two days and my toes are currently numb, but I’m finally here and blissfully working the day away.
I think for me it comes from a weird fear of succeeding. Yeah, you read that right. When you’ve been stuck in a storm of chaos most of your life, the opposite feels foreign. Slowly though, I’m settling into it.
So, here I sit.
Excuse the mess. I’m forever needing to clean my bench.
Posted on January 2, 2019
A turning of the invisible page. I hope everyone had a safe and happy start to the year.
2018 began in such dramatic fashion and kept up that pace until late Spring, then things seemed to fall apart, as you can see from the lack of posts and clear lack of direction here. I kept making jewelry but inspiration completely left my body. This sometimes happens as a creative and this time was full blown. I also took on other projects towards the end of the year that certainly weren’t helping in the creative realm. I’ve had things dance around in my head but they don’t ever come out how I want them.
I say all of this because 2019 will involve me finding inspiration again. How this will unfold I’m still unsure of, but it will likely come to fruition here and I’ve promised myself to rededicate myself to writing, photography and my jewelry, so there will actually be content again.
I did have a bit of magical inspiration on my way home from a trip to Mammoth, late last month, in the form of a horse. I quite literally turned around to visit this beauty who had an uncanny resemblance to my childhood horse, Butterscotch. She came right up to me and we definitely had a moment. I’ve thought about her pretty much every day since. Where this bit of inspiration will take me remains to be seen, but I’ll take it.
Posted on October 3, 2018
I’ve been meaning to write this post for a minute now. Pretty much since shortly after the last. My computer and phone had other ideas, thanks Apple. I’m up and running again, so here it goes.
A day or so after my last post I started getting a bunch of orders. I found it interesting that this was happening, as I was having such a feeling of wanting to back down from Birds of Prey. I sat down at my bench and buckled in. I began having all the feelings I always have when I do this. Feelings of peace, of knowing that this is a part of my soul. Then the feelings of fuck the heart break, fuck the fear, this is what I’ve always been wanting to do. I found that love again.
As most creatives can attest to, creativity ebbs and flows. I was in a serious ebb. I almost wanted to quit. I still don’t entirely know what Birds of Prey looks like as far as the time I’m going to dedicate to it, but I do know that I want to keep on doing it. I want to keep sharing a little piece of my heart with those that will have it. So a big thank you to those people that placed those orders. You certainly didn’t know that by doing that, you were going to save part of this lady’s dream.
Posted on September 6, 2018
I’m totally failing at keeping this journal updated. Life has changed in ways I wasn’t expecting and it’s had an effect on my feelings about how I’ll be continuing on with Birds of Prey in the days to come. I don’t foresee a time when I will stop doing this completely, but other opportunities have come along that will require my attention as well. My current thought on this is that I will continue doing what I do, but not full time. I haven’t quite flushed out what that looks like though.
I’ve been at this for over 8 years now and I love it, I really do. I’ve also gotten older in those 8 years and being a metalsmith is hard on ones body. I unfortunately inflicted a lot of damage on my body over the years and it’s all catching up with me. So sitting in a chair in the position I have to to work, well, isn’t totally working for me. Plus, if I’m being totally honest, I had my makers heart broken a bit this year over a project and it took the wind out of my sails so to speak.
So yeah, I’m just trying to figure this all out right now. There’s some really cool things on the horizon in my life, so this isn’t all bad, just more trying to explain what’s going on around here. I will have my work exclusively at High Desert Home, in Yucca Valley and will continue to sell things from my Etsy and direct shop. I appreciate the love and support I’ve received over these past 8 years. This is not the end, but a change of pace.
Posted on July 12, 2018