Posted on February 16, 2018
There’s probably not much more I like than a good walkout, especially as I’m healing. I love them in the quiet of the morning, or as the sun is about to set, but certainly wouldn’t turn down a midday go.
Lately I’ve taken to dancewalkabouts, which basically consist of me listening to music and dancing as I walk along. Occasionally there will be a sing along (my poor neighbors). This is the kind of stuff that makes me insanely happy. It’s a time to be with myself, not think about anything, connect to mama earth and take in the beauty that surrounds me. Not to say I’d turn down anyone who’d want to join, but solo missions are my favorite.
I have a route I like, mainly because there’s a hill, horses, a coyote den and this place.
A sweet pop of abandoned color, that I’ve now taken a ridiculous amount of pictures of. I’ve watched as it’s changed in little ways over the past year. Each time I pass it I tell myself stories of who it might belong to, or belonged to. Why don’t they come for it? Will they? What happened? I often think of what a chic little home it could be for a squatter, but only if they took care of it because it would make me sad if something happened to it. These thoughts are what I so often have when coming upon any abandoned space. I think it’s partially why I love them the way I do. That and their fight to survive, despite being left behind.
I highly recommend a walkabout, especially a dancewalkabout. You won’t be disappointed.
Posted on February 10, 2018
Greetings and Salutations,
I’m writing from my bed, just over a week post op. I’ve had what by all accounts seems to be a pretty remarkable recovery. Even I’m surprised by how well I’m doing and how good I’m feeling. This is me, exhausted but feeling the stoke after my follow up appointment on Friday.
What am I talking about? Well, last Wednesday, the 31st of January, I had an open Myomectomy to remove what ended up being, 16 fibroids, including 1 rather large one (a little under 14cm, bigger than a large grapefruit). As one of my nurses joked, “congratulations it’s a fibroid!” I was like, “more like an alien!” Seriously, have you ever seen a fibroid? In case you haven’t, here are some of mine. If you get queasy or are easily grossed out, keep it moving.
For several years I’ve dealt with not only discomfort, but anemia and thus exhaustion, my hair falling out, having to completely change the way I dress because I basically looked 3 months pregnant at times and becoming a person I no longer recognized. To say I feel completely different now would be an understatement. I’ve had not only a physical shift but energetically I’ve been transformed. There is a sense of lightness and joy that I don’t know if I’ve ever felt.
The reason women get fibroids is pretty unknown by the medical community, but something like 80% of women will have them by the time they’re 50! That’s a ridiculous statistic if you ask me. It’s thought they’re brought on by estrogen spikes, usually caused by stress. I’ve also read that childhood trauma makes you more susceptible and on a metaphysical level, that they’re creative dreams that were never given birth to. Some women experience no symptoms and others, like me, experience many, to the point of having to have them removed. Too many doctors tell women that a hysterectomy is the best or only option. Their reasoning is that they can grow back. It’s more often that the doctor isn’t skilled enough to preform a myectomy. If you don’t want a hysterectomy, find another doctor. I did and I completely accredit how good I feel to him doing everything right. I was also in good physical condition and prepared in every way I could beforehand, but without a skilled and thoughtful surgeon advocating for me, I know this could’ve been way worse.
I can’t thank my surgeon or Planned Parenthood, who brought him into my life, enough. They have given me, me back. For the first time in a long time, I’m hopeful. I can breathe. I can see my future clearly. And to my crüe, you all rule the school. So many of you came through in big ways and I’m feeling so loved.
This ride is about to change is really big ways. I hope you all join me for the next chapter.
Posted on January 22, 2018
Made this two friendship rings for two ladies of the north. Now we’re all bonded through Birds of Prey.
Posted on January 21, 2018
Updates have been few, mostly due to lack of time. Life has been coming at me in hyper speed and I haven’t been able to stop. Today was the first time in a long time that I did absolutely nothing. Really though, that’s not true because I did have to do some non jewelry related work this evening.,
I’m not entirely sure how many more updates are going to come here in the next couple of months. I’m 10 days away from surgery and I’m not going to be able to do any sort of jewelry making for at least a few weeks, maybe longer. This is all hitting me like a ton of bricks. I will do my best to pop in from time to time to keep everyone posted on where I’m at and what’s going on.
Posted on January 1, 2018
Another year has come and gone. Yesterday I reread the lyrics, if you will, to Bodhisattva Vow and thought how Adam totally got it and that I hope one day we can all get it.
In case you’re unfamiliar or missed the other time(s) I’ve posted it…
As I develop the awakening mind
I praise the Buddhas as they shine
I bow before you as I travel my path
To join your ranks, I make my full-time task
For the sake of all beings I seek
The enlightened mind that I know I’ll reap
Respect to Shantideva and all the others
Who brought down the Dharma for the sisters and brothers
I give thanks for this world as a place to learn
And for this human body that I know I’ve earned
And my deepest thanks to all sentient beings
For without them, there would be no place to learn what I’m seeing
There’s nothing here that’s not been said before
But I put it down now so that I’ll be sure
To solidify my own views
And I’ll be glad if it helps anyone else out too
If others disrespect me or give me flak
I’ll stop and think before I react
Knowing that they’re going through insecure stages
I’ll take the opportunity to exercise patience
I’ll see it as a chance to help the other person
Nip it in the bud before it can worsen
A chance for me to be strong and sure
As I think on the Buddhas who have come before
As I praise and respect the good they’ve done
Knowing love can conquer hate in every situation
We need other people in order to create
The circumstances for the learning that we’re here to generate
Situations that bring up our deepest fears
So we can work to release them until they’re cleared
Therefore, it only makes sense
To thank our enemies despite their intent
The Bodhisattva path is one of power and strength
A strength from within to go the length
Seeing others are as important as myself
I strive for a happiness of mental wealth
With the interconnectedness that we share as one
Every action that we take affects everyone
So in deciding for what a situation calls
There is a path for the good for all
I try to make my every action for that highest good
With the altruistic wish to achieve Buddhahood
So I pledge here before everyone who’s listening
To try to make my every action for the good of all beings
For the rest of my lifetimes and even beyond
I vow to do my best, to do no harm
And in times of doubt, I can think on the Dharma
And the Enlightened Ones who’ve graduated Samsara
And since it’s Music Monday…